Dial J For Jimmy
by lady bundtcake
Summary: Jessie picks up the phone and dials you-know-who. Quasi-Rocketshippy with slightly suggestive phone conversations.


Dial "J" for Jimmy  
  
May 29, 2000  
  
Rating: PG-13 for minor swearing/innuendo/typical teenager-y gook  
  
Category: Humor, romance, phone sex ~_^ the usual  
  
Disclaimer: They're not mine. Thank goodness, otherwise Pokémon would be filthy...  
  
Summary: Jessie's got nothing better to do. Why not give her best bud a ring?  
  
Author's note: I don't know what's sadder...that I actually wrote this shameless jargon or that I based it off my real-life conversations. ~_^   
  
Feedback: Is far better when shared among friends than kept to oneself!   
  
Distributions: Hey, if you want it, TAKE IT. I'll love you for life.  
  
I love doing these RJ-style headers. Ain't they spiffy?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
It sucks when he's out of town.  
  
I flopped down on the overstuffed couch in the creepy motel room and sighed. There wasn't anything to do around here...the Boss had given us two weeks vacation leave, the first vacation offer we'd had since we *joined* Team Rocket. Then stupid James had to go and visit his stupid parents...he *owes* it to 'em or something, I guess. Meowth decided to pay a visit to Hollywood (still pining after that Meowsy, hey boy?), and so I'm stuck here with nothing to do, no family to visit, and practically no money to do it with. Fortunately, James *thoughtfully* decided to spot me a couple of bucks before he left.  
  
"Jess...take this. It's not much, but at least you'll have some spending money while Meowth and I are gone."  
  
I had stared at the glob of bills he'd pressed into my hand. I seriously thought my eyes were going to bulge out of my head. "James...I can't accept this!"  
  
"Please. It's no trouble! Besides, I'll feel better knowing that you're not moping around somewhere without any cash. Just take the money." His green eyes were so persuading, I was tempted to give in.  
  
But, being the wonderfully polite person that I am (sometimes...when I wanna be, all right??), I tried again to offer it back. "I can't pay you back for this."  
  
"You don't have to. Consider it my gift to you."  
  
I stared at him, then at the money, then back at him. Well, as they say, greed conquers all. I jammed the money in my skirt pocket and mumbled something to the effect of, "Mmm, thanks."  
  
He looked a little disappointed. What, was he expecting a hug? Fat chance, blue boy.  
  
If he wanted a hug, he'd have to come and get it.  
  
Little did he know my heart was about to pound straight through my chest as I subconsciously wished, "Oh, please, please, please...hug me!! NOW!"  
  
I guess he's not particularly receptive to my psychic commands, because he kind of patted me awkwardly on the shoulder and said, "Well, guess I'll see you in two weeks."  
  
Thanks a lot, James. Way to steal my heart.  
  
I'll show him, I thought. I'll spend as little money as possible!  
  
Yeah. Brilliant.  
  
That about brings me up to present. Oh, it's fun stuff sitting in the cockroach city of a Motel 6, lemme tell ya.  
  
I sighed and stared out the window. Well, wouldn't you know it? It's raining.  
  
Why does it always have to rain on days you're depressed as hell?  
  
Must be some natural universal law or something.  
  
It figures.  
  
I picked up the remote, aimed at the TV, and punched power.  
  
Nothing...happened...  
  
I banged the remote on the couch's arm. Dust flew upwards into my nose and mouth and I hacked a couple of times. Great...just what I needed, sinus problems.  
  
More fun than a diva like me oughta have.  
  
I tried clicking the remote on again. Still nothing.   
  
Not wanting to get up from my semi-comfortable position on the couch, I shut one eye, aimed the remote at the TV and threw it in the general direction of the power button.  
  
It missed completely, bounced off the wall, and landed on the musty brown carpet, the back flying open and the little AAA battery rolling onto the floor in the process.  
  
Peachy.  
  
Maybe if I threw one of my shoes...  
  
My boot went sailing through the air, smacking the wall behind the ancient TV set and breaking one of the rabbit ears in half. It also left a nice black mark on the floral wallpaper.  
  
Someone banged on the wall in the next room. "KEEP IT DOWN, WILLYA?"  
  
I rolled my eyes. Honestly, some people just think they're *so* darn important.  
  
I picked up the room service card lying next to the telephone. Hmmm...for three fifty I can get a rubber-like egg and a strip of crusty bacon. Sweet.  
  
Can it get any better, folks? Wow, it's so much fun here I could vomit.  
  
I tossed the card at the metal wastebasket. Missed.   
  
Casting an idle glance at the phone, I wondered what it would cost to call long distance.  
  
Hey, I could call James!  
  
Hmmm...  
  
I shook my head. No, Jess, he needs to spend this time with his parents. It's his vacation too.  
  
Oh yeah? Well it's *his* fault I'm stuck here with nothing to do, anyway. All because he guilt-tripped me into taking his friggin' life savings because "it would make him feel so much better".  
  
He deserves to listen to me whine for once. God knows I have to put up with it enough.  
  
With an evil smirk, I picked up the phone and dialed his parents' number.  
  
"Come on, James, pick up," I whispered into the receiver.  
  
"Hallo, de-ah?"  
  
Damn it. His mother.  
  
"Ummm...hi. This is Jessie. Is James around?"  
  
"Who?"  
  
I mentally beat myself up. Why the heck did I think it was such a good idea to give him a call, anyway? Stupid, stupid, stupid.  
  
"Mom, I think that's for me...hello?"  
  
Gasp! Can it be...?  
  
"Hey James," I said, trying my best to sound casual.  
  
"Hi Jess. Wow. I didn't think you'd call me!"  
  
"What else am I supposed to do around here?" Oh crap. I shouldn't have blurted that out...it makes me sounds like I'm *missing* him or something.  
  
"So..." he went on, ignoring my comment. "What are you doing?"  
  
I rolled my eyes. Like I'm going to actually tell him about my shoe-throwing fun.  
  
"Anything...interesting?"  
  
There was something odd in the way he said that...like he had a catch in his voice or something. He sounded almost...seductive.  
  
If you can imagine someone like *James* being seductive.  
  
"I'm not doing anything," I finally said.   
  
"Or anyone?"  
  
Double take. Did that come out of *him*?  
  
"No..." I stumbled, not sure if I'd heard him right. But then I thought, what the hell, let's go with this. "Not right now, anyway!" I added, the corners of my mouth turning up into a sly grin.  
  
"Eeew!" James squeaked in that adorable way of his. "Kinky!"  
  
I grinned. James, if only you knew...  
  
"I like it," he said after a moment.  
  
I giggled nervously. Oooh, me too, I thought. "So are you doing anything? Or anyone?"  
  
He laughed. He sounded nervous too. "Yeah, Jess, you know me...and my harem of hot girls."  
  
"Right. That's what I figured, since you're such a sex machine."  
  
I can't believe I said that!! I grinned in spite of myself. This *was* kinda fun...  
  
"Want to join my harem, Jess? You're pretty hot yourself, ya know."  
  
Giggle fit. Seriously.   
  
"Yeah, James. I'm so much better in bed than they are."  
  
"Oh, well, whatever you say! I'm on my way over right now!"  
  
I laughed and laid down on my back, my head resting on the arm of the couch.   
  
"You'd better have the candles lit by the time I get over there."  
  
"Oh sure," I said, twisting the phone cord around my fingers. "I'll cover the bed with rose petals, too."  
  
"Oh, my favorite."  
  
"I know. Anything else, while I'm up?"  
  
"Yeah. Get some nice satin sheets."  
  
"Oh yeah," I giggled, "I'll just get naked now and crawl on in between 'em and wait on you!"  
  
"Don't get naked yet! Wait for me to get over there...I'll help you!"  
  
I sat up, giggling out of control. "There's not much to help off, James, since I'm just wearing this sexy little black lace outfit. I mean, you can practically see through it and everything!"  
  
"Oh, girl, you're driving me crazy! I'm coming over right now."  
  
"Yeah? I'll get the wine out."  
  
"Where are you? Some fancy hotel room with a big bed?"  
  
I glanced around my ghetto accommodations and the twin-size bed in the corner. "Yep. It's a five-star all right."  
  
"Okay. I'll 'spend the night' at your place," he said sweetly. "Hey...how big is your shower?"  
  
I cracked up at that one. "Where is your mind today?"  
  
"Same gutter yours is in!"  
  
"Oh, it's *way* past the gutter, boy!" I blushed.   
  
"Hey, we could rent a car! With a nice big backseat!"  
  
"Hmmm..." There's a thought. "Cars are cool."  
  
"You're cool."  
  
I sighed. You bet your sweet life on it, James boy.  
  
"Seriously, how'd you get to be so cool, Jess?"  
  
"I took lessons."  
  
He laughed. "How'd I guess?"  
  
"Love ya, James."  
  
...did that come outta ME?????   
  
He was silent on the other end for a minute while I mentally slit my wrists and leaped out the window. Unfortunately, the motel was only one-story, so that probably wouldn't have worked. Maybe if I didn't open the window first...  
  
"I love you, too."  
  
I thought my eyes were going to bulge out of my head. My heart beat really fast all of a sudden and my palms went wet. I switched ears on the phone while I cleared my throat and said, "Really?"  
  
"Yeah. I...love you a lot, Jess."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"You're practically the first thing I think about every morning and the last thing I think about at night. I'm going out of my mind over here because you're not with me. Jess...I can hardly stand being separated from you, I'm going crazy. Either that or it's my parents who are driving me nuts."  
  
Way to spoil the mood, James.  
  
"Really..."  
  
"Yeah, they're kind of eccentric, ya know..."  
  
"No..." I rolled my eyes, "I meant about you thinking of me every morning and night and all that mushy stuff. Did you really mean that?"  
  
He was quiet for another moment. I cast an anxious glance toward the window.  
  
"Yes. Yes I did."  
  
I was shocked, flattered, overwhelmed, and infatuated to the point of melting into a puddle on the couch. My face broke out into a giddy grin as I nervously wiped my forehead with the back of my hand, realizing I'd been sweating like a racehorse. Thousands of feelings surfaced, and I felt this wonderful freedom, like I could reach out and tell him everything and let him know I felt the same way about him...  
  
"Wow."  
  
Stupid, stupid, STUPID.  
  
"Hey, I don't talk kinky sex talk on the phone with just ANYONE."  
  
I smiled. The nice thing about James is he's too dense to pick up on my total lack of conversational etiquette. Either that or he's really good at ignoring it.   
  
"Me neither. That was...quite revealing."  
  
"Not revealing enough."  
  
Major blush factor. For the millionth time, I thanked the Phone Gods that he couldn't see my face.  
  
"Maybe some other time...like when you get back into town next weekend," I hinted.  
  
Silence. "...Was that an offer, Miss Jessie?"  
  
"Take it or leave it."  
  
"Hmmm...I'll have to think about that one."  
  
"JA-AMES!"  
  
"Take it! Take it, of course!!"  
  
"Good. For a minute there, I was afraid I'd have to smack ya."  
  
"Fortunately, I'm a hundred miles away."  
  
"Rope it in, Lucky Lucky."  
  
"Hey Jess..."  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"I hate to cut this short...but I have to go. My mom's about to kill me for talking this late."  
  
Poor James...seventeen years old and he still has to answer to his momma.  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Good night, Jessie. Sleep well. Have good dreams."  
  
I grinned. "Thanks. You too."  
  
"Love ya, babe."  
  
"Ditto."  
  
"You caught one?"  
  
Big sigh. "Good night, James."  
  
"'Night." The phone clicked.  
  
"Good night," I whispered into the receiver before hanging it back on its hook.   
  
I love you, James.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ 


End file.
